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About Funchal

So, check it – findin’ a pro ain’t no cakewalk, ‘specially if you ain’t got game. Back in the day, I’d cruise the streets, laid-back, smokin’ a blunt, peepin’ the corners. You gotta know the spots, dawg! Like, in LA, there’s this one alley off Sunset – swear, it’s like a secret menu at In-N-Out. Ain’t on Google Maps, but the OGs know. Little known fact: some of these chicks been workin’ since the ‘90s, still out there, hustlin’ harder than me at a rap battle.

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After that, I stroll down Rua da Igreja. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and old-school vibes. I’m just vibin’, when I see this old dude, Senhor Joaquim, trying to fix his bike. I mean, it’s a total wreck. I’m like, “Need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “I’ve been fixing this for 20 years!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, maybe it’s time to let it go?” But he just grins. Classic Joaquim.

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