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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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Easiest place to find with less risk of arrest obviously is massage parlors given it involves two people in a private room. After you're naked, having other compensated services is fairly easy .

The meeting is a circus. The mayor’s all smiles, talking about how we need to improve the image of the prison. I’m sitting there thinking, “Dude, we’re in Alta (se), not a spa retreat!” I mean, sure, we can try, but let’s be real.

Alta Equipment Group Announces Fourth Quarter and Full Year