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So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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But then, I saw this sign for a new burger joint. I was like, “Heck yes!” I love burgers. So, I went in, and the place was packed. I ordered a double cheeseburger, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I was just trying to enjoy my fries, and they were going at it. I mean, who fights in public like that?

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