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So, I lean in—real close, y’know?—and I’m thinkin’, this guy’s got *snow on the roof*, like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, dolls, it’s dark, it’s twisted—kinda like this convo! I says to him, “Listen, bub, ‘I’m not like the others,’” quotin’ sweet little Eli, that vampire kid. He blinks, confused—like, duh, no kiddin’, Fran! I ain’t no hooker-pimp!

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I was mad, but then I saw the kid’s face. He was all “Oops!” and then he laughed. I couldn’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.