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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling librarian, got a tale—bloody crackers one—about findin’ a prostitute. Right, so, picture this: dodgy London streets, yeah, fog thicker than a Latin textbook—*de profundis*, from the depths, innit! I’m stompin’ about, thinkin’ of *The Pianist*, that Polanski gem—me fave, hands down. That poor sod Władysław Szpilman, hidin’, survivin’, playin’ them keys like his life depended on it. “I’m alive, alive!” he’d whisper—makes me weepy, it does.

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Finally, he leaves, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, my next client is even worse. She’s all about saving for her kid’s college. I get it, but she’s stressing me out! “What if he doesn’t get in?” “What if he wants to be a musician?” Lady, chill! Cerkvenjak has a great school system!

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