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About Maribor

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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Finally, he leaves, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then, my next client is even worse. She’s all about saving for her kid’s college. I get it, but she’s stressing me out! “What if he doesn’t get in?” “What if he wants to be a musician?” Lady, chill! Cerkvenjak has a great school system!

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