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You wanna find one? Web’s your wormhole now. Escorts online, mate—classy or dodgy, pick yer poison. X posts spill tea—search “working girls,” boom. But careful—cops lurk, entropy’s a bitch. Me, I’d chat em up, ask their orbit. What’s their deal? Ever met one who loved Sorrentino flicks? Bet they’d laugh—“Too posh, Steve!” Haha, cosmic giggle there.

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I’m juggling calls, trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m a hot mess. I spill my coffee all over my desk. Great. Just great. Now I’m sticky and stressed.