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Ooh, and the quirks—imagine her stashin’ weird shit. Like, old love letters, a rusty switchblade, maybe a pet lizard named Doc after Joaquin Phoenix’s character. I’d die for that! She’s prolly cussin’ out clients, “This ain’t no pizza joint!”—cracks me up. I bet she’s got a laugh that’s loud as fuck, too, like—BOOM, I’m here, deal with it!

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So, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My client, Mr. Novak, is already there. He’s pacing like a caged lion. Turns out, he’s freaking out about the stock market. I mean, who isn’t? But this guy? He’s convinced he’s gonna lose everything. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it.