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About Celje

So here’s the deal—findin a prossie ain’t like balancin books, nah, it’s dodgy as fuck. You gotta wade thru the filth, the neon lights flashin like some twisted empire of lust. We shall fight the pimps, we shall fight the coppers, we shall fight the bleedin STDs creepin up yer trousers! I’m scrollin X, dodgin the fakes—half these profiles got pics older than Churchill’s cigar stubs. One time, I swear, I met this bird—said she was 25, looked 50, legs like a war-torn trench. Made me mad as a hatter—wasted me quid on that!

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After that, I hit up the local market. You know, the one near the old church? It’s got the best fresh produce. I’m all about that healthy life. But then, I see this lady selling these giant pastries. I mean, they were HUGE! I’m talkin’ like, “Is that a pastry or a small child?” I couldn’t resist. I bought one. It was so good, I almost cried.

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