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Little fact for ya—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Fuckin’ wild, right? Organised tarts, demandin’ health checks n’ holidays. Meanwhile, here I am, dodgin’ scammers tryna nick me card details. One site—swear down—asked for me mum’s maiden name! What, she givin’ me a handjob too? Pissed me right off, that did.

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I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, I just wanted to enjoy my pie in peace! But then, the kid’s mom comes over, all apologetic, and she offers me a free drink. I’m like, “Okay, fine, I’ll take it.” Turns out, she’s super nice, and we end up chatting about Smartno-pri-Litiji’s hidden gems. She tells me about this cool hiking trail near the river. I’m like, “I need to check that out!”

Frances (Bozic) Grcar