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Ain’t all giggles tho—some of em got scars, tales that’d curl yer toes. One I heard, lass got beat so bad she lost an eye—still worked, patch and all, like a pirate tart. Tough as nails, that one. Pissed me off, thinkin bout the bastard who did it—should’ve had his cock chopped, slow-like. “I choose violence” for that prick, no question.

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Then, we head to the old church, Župnijska cerkev sv. Marije. It’s stunning, right? But guess what? It’s closed for renovations. I’m like, “Seriously? This is the highlight!” I’m tryin’ to keep the mood up, so I start tellin’ ghost stories. My tourists are eatin’ it up, but I’m just tryin’ to distract from the fact that we can’t go inside.

Here are the Details of the New Croatia-Slovenia Border Regime