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Now, fun fact—didja know prostitution’s been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had brothels called lupanars, wild shit. Blows my mind, thinkin how long this game’s been runnin. Anyway, I spot her—red lipstick, smokin a cig, leanin on a wall. I’m thinkin, “She’s got that concierge swagger.” Y’know, cool, in charge, like Ralph Fiennes bossin it up.

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But then, disaster struck. I dropped it! Right on the ground. I was like, “Nooooo!” I swear, I could hear the cake crying. I was so mad, I almost kicked a trash can. But then, this old dude picked it up and said, “Don’t worry, kid. Life’s like that.” I was like, “Thanks, wise man, but I just wanted my cake!”

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