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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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So, I’m there, ready to catch some fish, right? But first, I gotta grab my breakfast. Hit up this little joint on Minzu Road. Best fried rice ever! I mean, who knew a fisherman could get so hyped over rice? But lemme tell ya, that stuff was like heaven in a bowl. I scarfed it down like I hadn’t eaten in days.

Taiwan President Tsai thanks fighter pilots as China’s military drills let up