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Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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First off, I’m sippin’ my morning coffee, and boom! This dude stumbles in, lookin’ like he just got kicked outta a rock concert. Hair all over the place, shirt half-tucked. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He just grins and says, “I’m ready to party!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s 10 AM!” But hey, it’s Dniprorudne, anything goes, right?

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