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Favorite bit? The madams—ooh, they’re characters! One I heard of, ran a joint in Nevada, had a pet parrot that swore—fuckin’ legend! Squawkin’ at drunks, “Piss off, ya twat!”—hiss, love it! Brothels ain’t all seedy, see? Some got soul, some got stories. Others? Bleh, stinks of desperation—makes me wanna claw me eyes out!

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Finally, I get to the office. The place is buzzing. My boss, Mr. Petrenko, is already on my case. “Where are the reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, dude, I’m here now.” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy have a rough morning?

Fig. 1. The location of the Dnipro Reservoirs on the maps of Europe and...