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What’s good bout it? Loosens ya up, I guess. Muscles stop screamin’ for once. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t expect that. But then she’s tryna “release my tension” in ways I ain’t signin’ up for. Nope, lady, keep yer mitts off my unmentionables. I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, not some gigolo. Funniest part? Some parlors got “happy endin’” menus like it’s a damn diner. Hilarious ‘til ya realize they’re serious—then it’s just sad.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playing football in the street. They’re yelling, laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like they don’t have a care in the world. I miss that feeling.

Russia amasses forces on Kinburn Spit to prevent Ukrainian troops from crossing Dnipro River