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So, I’m creepin’, heart’s poundin’, and I spot her—red lips, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. “Come what may,” I mutter, like I’m Christian swoonin’ over Satine. I stroll up, all cool, like, “Yo, lady, need a shelf built?” She laughs—LAUGHS!—and I’m like, “Score!” Happy as hell, dude, ‘cause she didn’t ditch me. Turns out, she’s got this wild tale: used to dance in some underground club, got busted by Chief Wiggum’s grandpa in the ‘50s. Freaky, right?

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Then, I decide to take a break. I step outside, and the rain’s stopped. Thank goodness! I stroll down to the park, you know, the one by the river? It’s nice there. I see some kids playing, and it hits me—life’s good sometimes. But then, I see this guy walking his dog. The dog’s huge! Like, a bear on a leash. And it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Dude, control your beast!”

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