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About Mariupol

What’s funny? These saps payin’ double for “classy” when the street’s got gems. Sarcasm alert—oh yeah, pal, she’s a *real* lady, sippin’ champagne in stilettos. Ha! Me, I’m bargain huntin’—not ‘cause I’m broke, ‘cause I’m smart. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this—me, cigar in hand, hagglin’ like it’s a stock trade. “Drainage, drainage!”—I’m drainin’ their rates dry.

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First off, I had a meeting at the office on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with that cute little café on the corner? Yeah, I was totally planning to grab a coffee there. But of course, I hit snooze like five times. Classic me. So, I’m rushing out the door, and guess what? My favorite sneakers? Gone. Like, poof! I swear they have legs and walked away.

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