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Okay, wild fact—didja know in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out? Crazy, right? Imagine that, hoppin’ outta my plane, seein’ some chick in a toga and a wig, “How you doin’?” I’d lose it. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s a messy gig. Some of ‘em are slick, dodgin’ cops like I dodge flames. Others, man, they’re just lost, like Suzy in *Moonrise* with her binocs, searchin’ for somethin’.

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Finally, I get it working, and I print the report. I’m feeling like a hero. But then, I spill coffee all over it. I’m done. I can’t even. I just sit there, staring at the mess, contemplating my life choices.