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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d say, “I fought a pimp once!” Total lie, but sounds cool! Prolly just stepped on his toe, ran away giggling. Sarcasm time— “Oh yeah, Patrick, real tough guy!” Pfft, I’d pay her to clap for me! “I’m not getting younger,” I’d whine, quotin’ Bob again, cuz I’m dramatic like that!

Prostitution: Prosperous Purgatory

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my bookie buddy from Kyiv. He’s all frantic, saying there’s some big match coming up. “You gotta get in on this!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Molodohvardiisk! What do you want me to do, run to the stadium?”

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia