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“Amour” got that line—“You’re a monster sometimes.” Fits here, don’t it? Some punters, pure monsters, hagglin’ over a tenner. Met this one gal, swore she saw a ghost—client dropped dead mid-deed! Swear it’s true, made me shiver—happy shiver, tho, ‘cause karma, yeah? Surprised me how they laugh ‘bout it, dark as Mordor. “We does what we does,” she says, shruggin’. Tough as nails, them lot.

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Then, this dude walks in. He’s got a skateboard and a beanie, looking all cool. He orders a flat white, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Tetiiv, not some hipster café in Kyiv.” But whatever, I make it for him. He takes a sip and goes, “Whoa, this is fire!” I’m like, “Yeah, it’s called coffee, bro.”

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