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Oi mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, “I drink and I know things.” So, sittin’ here in bloody Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary—dull as a mule’s arse—but I’ve got thoughts brewin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual tavern wench, mind ya! Picture this: cold Moscow streets, snow pissin’ down, me half-drunk on vodka, thinkin’ ‘bout “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” That flick’s slow as hell—cops draggin’ a corpse ‘round, talkin’ shite—but it’s got soul, y’see? “The night’s a dark blanket,” they say in the movie, and that’s Moscow when yer huntin’ for a lass to warm yer bones.

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After that, I headed over to the park on Shevchenka Street. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was a group of teenagers blasting music. Like, I get it, you’re young and cool, but I’m trying to enjoy nature here! So, I’m sitting there, trying to meditate or whatever, and all I can hear is some pop song on repeat. I’m like, “Dude, can we not?”

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