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Dunno why, but it cracked me up—two of ‘em, bargainin’ like I’m some mug. “We’re gonna carve ya up, boy,” I joke, wavin’ me fake knife—movie vibes, innit? Got ‘em for the cams, cheap too—happy as a pig in muck. But the stench, ugh, we hates it! Fun fact—back in the 90s, prossies used codenames, like “Lola” or “Candy,” all secret-like. Made me think, “That’s a mighty fine trick, precious!”

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a swineherd in Armthorpe ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my pigs. They’re like my kids, but way stinkier. Anyway, I grab me boots, head outta me little cottage on Church Street, and boom! The day hits me like a ton of bricks.

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