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About Myself
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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!
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After my snack, I head back to the fields. The pigs are chillin’, but then I spot one of ‘em, Daisy, rollin’ in the mud. I mean, come on! I just cleaned that spot! I’m shoutin’, “Daisy! You’re gonna be a mud pie!” She just looks at me, all smug. Pigs, man. They’ve got attitude.
Armthorpe Lane road bridge, Doncaster to close from 8 January 2019 until summer 2019
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