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So, you wanna find a hooker? First off, don’t be a dumbass. Ain’t no yellow pages for this crap anymore—world’s gone soft. Back in the day, you’d stroll down some sketchy street, see a gal leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. Now? It’s all online, shady apps, coded words— “massage specials,” my ass. I hate technology. Makes me wanna punch a computer. Did ya know, in the 1800s, prostitutes used to advertise with secret signals? Like a red ribbon on a door. Cool as hell, but I’d still burn the door down.

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When I get to the pub, it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m just happy to be there. I grab a pint and join in. “You lot won’t believe the day I had!” I say. They’re all ears, and I’m spillin’ the tea about the mill, the roadworks, and my computer drama.

Fire reported on road near Axminster leads to emergency service response