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I’m legit mad tho—some shady dude tried scammin me once, said he knew “the best girls,” took my cash, and poof, gone! Like, “Buy dirt, you little garbage cube!”—WALL-E vibes, y’know? I was pissed, stompin around, but then I found this chick online, total babe, and I’m like, “Ohmygosh, she’s perf!” Made me happy again, like, instant mood flip.
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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my pastry! I’m like, “No way! Not my Crouch Crunch!” But that bird was relentless. I swear it looked me in the eye, like, “This is mine now.” I was furious! I mean, who does that?
Boat dubbed ‘Burnham Titanic’ after capsizing in town now up for sale
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