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I’m starin’ at her shoes—sparkly, but busted. “Nice kicks,” I says. She smirks, “They’re crap.” We’re buddies now, right? I’m thinkin’, “Is this what Mark felt codin’ Facebook?” Nah, prolly not, he wuz sweaty and rich. Me, I’m sweaty and broke! Haha, so dumb.

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First off, I’m tryna grab a coffee at that little spot on High Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks about your life. Like, mate, I just want my caffeine fix, not a therapy session! Anyway, I order my usual – flat white, extra shot. But guess what? They mess it up! I get a decaf. Who drinks decaf? Not me! I’m fuming. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.

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