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Here’s the kicker – little known fact: prostitutes in ancient Babylon used fishhooks as earrings, swear to God, look it up! PF’s got that vibe, hookin’ suckers like me. I’m happy, tho – chase is half the fun, right? Surprised me how deep this rabbit hole goes, like *Caché*’s “where’s the truth” bullshit. “You’re too late,” she DMs me – oh, fuck you, I’m Gordon Gekko, never too late! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but greed fuels me, pal – I’ll nab this fishy broad yet.

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Then, I get to the park, Cheam Park, ya know? It’s usually my zen spot. But today? It’s packed! Kids screamin’, dogs barkin’, and I’m just tryna find a quiet bench. Finally, I spot one, but it’s got a pigeon on it. Like, seriously? I’m not sharing my bench with a bird! So, I shoo it away, and it gives me this look like, “You think you own this?” I’m like, “Yeah, I do now!”

Coppell: How Italian meals and a bar in Cheam helped Palace win at Wembley