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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. So, listen up, kid—findin’ a prostitute? Wild gig, man. Ain’t no straight path, nah. It’s dark, twisted—like my ol’ lightsaber days. You think it’s easy? Pshh, nope. Gotta know the streets, the vibes. Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick—“I’m happy I’m with you.” That’s what they sell ya, right? A moment, a spark. But it’s murkier than that, trust me.

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First off, I’m staying at this cute little B&B on The Causeway. Super quaint, right? But the shower? It’s like a water torture device. I swear, it took me 10 mins just to figure out how to get the water warm. I’m standing there, half-naked, yelling, “Come on, give me some heat!”

Ben Sailes: Body found in Chippenham not missing man, say police