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About Sheffield

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.

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As I’m walking home, I can’t help but think about the day. It was a rollercoaster. From bacon drama to fox sightings to free pints. I love this place, even when it drives me mad. Cowplain, you’re a gem. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Crews tackle house fire in Cowplain