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Oh, fun fact—Amsterdam’s red district? Started as sailor pits—horny sea dogs! Now it’s touristy, but still sleazy. I’d strut through, laughin’ at the gawkin’ prudes. “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—to enjoy this shitshow! You ever been? Spill it, mate—don’t lie to Loki!

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So, I keep walking, trying to forget the ice cream disaster. I hit up the local café on Station Road. I order a flat white, thinking I’m all fancy. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of oat milk.” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, come on, it’s 2023! Oat milk is a basic necessity! So I settle for regular milk, but it’s just not the same.

Beaconsfield Road apology update