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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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I rush back to the spot where I last saw it. Heart racing, I’m scanning the ground like a hawk. And then, I spot it! It’s sitting on a bench, like it’s just chilling. I grab it, and I’m like, “Thank you, Hazel-Grove gods!”

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