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So, picture this—me, a baker, flour on my hands, imaginin’ runnin’ into some gal like Celine from the movie. “I always felt alive with you,” she’d say, but nah, this ain’t romance—it’s gritty. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a croissant. You gotta know the spots—word is, back in the ‘90s, Times Square was crawlin’ with ‘em before Giuliani swept it clean. Little fact for ya—didja know some work outta bodegas now? Sneaky, right? Makes me laugh—capitalism’s wild, man!

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a quid for every wild thing that happened in Hexham today, I’d be rich! So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already dreading the day. Insurance agent life ain’t glamorous, ya know? But hey, gotta pay the bills, right?

Hexham Book Festival set for Queen's Hall this weekend