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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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Finally, I make it back home, exhausted but buzzing. I plop down on my couch, thinking about the day. It was a rollercoaster, for sure. Houghton-Le-Spring, you crazy little town, you never fail to surprise me. I love it, even when it drives me nuts.

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