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I’m ready! I ask, “How’s it work?” She rolls her eyes—ugh, rude! Says, “Cash upfront, kid.” I’m like, “I got jellyfish jam!” She ain’t impressed. “Man’s a beast,” she grumbles—another *Leviathan* zinger! I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a sponge!” Total mismatch, right? Laughed so hard I squeaked!

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First thing, I hit up the local café, The Woodlands. Best coffee on the island, no cap. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a latte? It was like drinking hot milk with a sprinkle of disappointment. I was like, “C’mon, I need caffeine, not a milk bath!”

The 'dream' £5k residency at Scottish isle standing stones during extraordinary lunar event