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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.
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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a parachutist firefighter in Mablethorpe is like riding a rollercoaster that’s stuck on the loop-de-loop. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, seagulls squawkin’ like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
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