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About Newcastle

One time, I’m chattin’ up this bird – total fox, yeah? She’s all, “Ten quid, love.” And I’m like, “Groovy, baby!” But then – surprise! – she’s got a pimp lurkin’, uglier than a smashed avocado. Made my mojo dip, man! Thought I’d have to karate-chop my way outta that one. Reminded me of that whale in *Werckmeister* – ya see it comin’, but it still freaks ya out, yeah?

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I get to the workshop, and it’s chaos. Absolute chaos. My mate Dave’s already there, looking like he’s been through a blender. “Oi, mate! You won’t believe what happened!” he yells. I’m like, “What? Did you finally get a haircut?” Nah, turns out the CNC machine went haywire. Like, it was spitting out parts like confetti. I’m talking metal bits everywhere.

A truly enchanting stay in Devon