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Heard this mad story once – true fact, swear down – some punter in Amsterdam got so pissed, he paid a prossie to just… chat. Chat! Didn’t even shag ‘er! Sat there blabberin’ about his ex for an hour. What a wanker, eh? Coulda got that for free at the pub! Reckon *Find a Prostitute* is full of them types – lonely sods who’d pay a tenner to cry on a tit. Surprised me, that – thought they’d all be randy bastards, but nah, some are just sad sacks.

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I’m tryna get to the market, but I take a wrong turn down Star Hill. Classic me! I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I swear, I could get lost in me own backyard. Finally, I find me way back, and the market’s poppin’. Fresh fruit, veggies, and all that jazz. I’m eyein’ some apples, thinkin’ about makin’ a pie. But then, bam! This bloke bumps into me, spills his coffee all over my boots. I’m fumin’! Like, mate, watch where ya goin’!

Stolen jet ski and trailer from Rochester