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*rasps* I sneaks online now—X posts, shady links, “escorts” they calls ‘em. Classy, huh? Bollocks! One time, found a lass, picture all dolled up—met her, and blimey, she’s missin’ teeth! “We don’t gotta tell nobody,” I thinks, like Ennis whisperin’ to Jack. Surprised me, it did—catfishin’ prossies, who knew? Laughed my arse off, tho—gallows humor, mate!

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Now, here's the deal, buddy: Strabane ain’t just that one old street. We got, uh, Yellow Brick Road (ok, not really, but there's a cute lane off Clifton Road where the local vibe is just bomb – small cafes, old-time shops, and, heck, a quirky little massage parlor – yep, that’s where I work, hehe). I spend my humblest hours here, feeling the pulse of the city in each little creak from them cobblestones.

'Hoax' email threat that led to Strabane school closures slammed by local MLAs and raised at Stormont