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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Kanye, streamin’ my thoughts, wild as fuck. So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, that’s some dark, gritty shit—like *Leviathan*, you feel me? That movie, bruh, it’s my jam, Andrey Zvyagintsev killed it. Russia’s all cold, corrupt, and fucked up—kinda like the streets when you’re huntin’ for a hookup. “The sea’s close, but it’s frozen,” right? That’s what Kolya says—shit’s right there, but you can’t touch it easy.

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After the service, I’m walkin’ back, and I spot this old lady on the corner of Stirling Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Nah, just tryin’ to avoid a lawsuit!”

Pudsey Bear makes surprise visit to Alloa Asda store