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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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Then, I decide to head to the local shop on Doncaster Road. I need some grub. I walk in, and the smell of bacon hits me. I mean, c’mon! I’m a swineherd! It’s like a chef walkin’ into a bakery and smellin’ bread. I’m torn, but I grab a sausage roll. Can’t resist, right?

Police officer attacked and rocks thrown at squad car in Doncaster gang attack