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Lemme break it down—prostitution’s old as dirt. Fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred hookers, gettin’ paid to bless ya soul. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how WALL-E’d roll up, all, “Evaaa?”—confused as hell. Anyway, you wanna find one? Cities got red-light zones, shady corners—ain’t no Google Maps pin sayin’, “Here’s the goods.” You gotta feel the vibe, spot the strut, the eye contact that says, “Yo, you buyin’?”

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So, I’m out here, trying to enjoy my morning cuppa, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, typical. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Billinge, not Wall Street!” But whatever, I chug my tea and head out.

A Wigan motorist has been convicted of careless driving and hit with a fine