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So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some grimy street, right, and there’s this whore, bold as brass, leanin’ against a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn night. She’s got that *Fish Tank* vibe—Mia’s “You’re a right wanker, ain’t ya?” attitude—except she’s real, not some screen kid. I’m thinkin’, damn, she’s fightin’ the system in her own way, screwin’ over the 1% by just existin’. Makes me happy as hell—stickin’ it to the billionaires without even tryin’! But then—bam!—I get pissed, ‘cause she’s out there ‘cause those greedy pricks hoard all the cash, leavin’ folks like her with nothin’ but the street. “Billionaires should not exist!” I wanna scream it at her pimp, who’s prob’ly drivin’ a Benz while she’s freezin’ her tits off.

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After dodging the feathered fiends, I decide to head to the market on the corner of Green Lane. I’m hoping for some fresh produce, maybe a cheeky pastry. But the line is insane! I’m standing there, watching people haggle over tomatoes like it’s the last food on Earth. I’m losing my patience. Finally, I get to the front, and guess what? They’re out of pastries! I mean, what’s a day without pastries?

New 20mph speed limit comes into force for five roads in Chadwell Heath