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So, picture this — I’m hoppin round town, green flippers flappin, lookin for some action. Not my usual swamp vibe, right? Found this shady corner, dude, total sketchville! Some gal’s leanin on a lamp post, smokin, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Hi-ho, lady, you workin?” She laughs, says, “For a frog? Maybe!” Made me chuckle, but damn, her vibe was cold — “like a snake bitin its own tail,” like the movie says. Got me thinkin — is this chick for real or just hustlin me?

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Next thing I know, I hear a knock on the door. It’s Mrs. Thompson from The High Street. She’s like, “Is everything alright, dear?” I’m like, “Yeah, just havin’ a little power outage party!” She laughs, bless her heart. She’s always been a gem. Brings me fresh eggs from her hens. I owe her big time.

Codicote sexual assault: 20-year-old man arrested