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About Leeds

Where to find ‘em? Depends, mate. Cities got red-light spots—neon buzzin’, skirts hikin’ up. Online’s a maze now—ads masked as “massages,” sneaky bastards. “We need to go deeper!”—hah, deeper into the dark web, maybe? Nah, too creepy, even for Gollum. Stick to streets, safer bet. Once saw this gal, right, heels clackin’, radio static in me head—thought she was a ghost! Turned out she was just chargin’ 50 quid. Surprised me, cheap for a spook!

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So, I take a deep breath and dive back into the crowd. I’m chatting with this lovely lady from Bath, and she’s telling me about her dog. I’m all ears, nodding along, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing football. They’ve knocked over a stall! I’m like, “Oh great, just what I needed!”

Devizes Town FC hosts 'DAPS Day' for Dauntsey primary school pupils