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About Bristol

So here’s the deal, bud. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a dang pizza. You don’t just Google “hooker near me” and bam, she’s knockin’. Nah, it’s gritty, man! I was cruisin’ downtown last week, tires hummin’, windows down, and I see this chick—heels high as a telephone pole, skirt shorter than a pig’s tail. I’m like, “Well, there’s somethin’ you don’t see every day!” Kinda made me happy, ya know? A little action in this boring-ass town!

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So, I sit down, and they hand me this massive meat pie. I’m talkin’ like, bigger than my head! I’m shovelin’ it in, and the crowd’s cheerin’. But halfway through, I realize I’m in a food coma. I can’t even move! I’m laughin’ at myself, thinkin’ I’m gonna burst.

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