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Now, me quirks kick in—I’m pacin’ the deck, talkin’ to meself, “Jack, ye daft fool, don’t hire the first lass ye see!” Gotta vet ‘em, check histories—clean data, not scurvy lies. Once, I near hired a gal who swore she’d been with Blackbeard himself—exaggeratin’ for dramatics, aye, but I laughed ‘til me ribs ached. “I like simple pleasures,” I growl, quotin’ Amélie, “like rum and a good tale!”

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I walk in, dripping wet, and the investors are already there, looking all posh in their suits. I’m in my work gear, looking like I just crawled out of a swamp. They raise their eyebrows. I can feel the judgment. But hey, I’m not here to impress anyone with my fashion sense. I’m here to talk business!

Pontefract: Plans revealed to build almost 60 homes on farmland in Yorkshire