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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!

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I sometimes wander to New Hall Valley Country Park. There ya see a meandering stream that kinda splits the park. It's lowkey magic – fast winds, weird smells, and old trees that practically hum “Do you think it’s real, baby?” sigh The park got this aura, like a midnight drum solo. Its paths escape any map kinda vibe, making ya feel both lost and found.

Rubbish piles up at Sutton Coldfield schools causing ‘rats, a stench and health hazards’