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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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Now lemme tell ya about neighborhoods: Uptown's got these badass vintage vibes, totally off the beaten track. Down in the West End, I discovered a tiny coffee joint, Brew 'n Chew, tucked in a side alley on Sunset Blvd. That place is my sanctuary, bro. Sometimes I even pretend I'm in a Jarmusch flick.

State Fire Marshal Determines Atmore Church Fire Was Caused By Lightning