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I’m walkin’ away, mutterin’, “This is ridiclous.” She yells somethin’—I don’t hear it, I’m too busy trippin’ over a curb. I’m thinkin’, “The New World’s better than this crap!” That movie—nature, love, betrayal—beats this grimy nonsense any day. Findin’ a prostitute? Overrated! I’d rather watch Farrell brood for 3 hours—*“The earth is all before me!”*—than deal with this. Pretty, pretty good decision, Larry—go home, eat a bagel, call it a night!

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I gotta mention, though, there’s a weird side too. Some nights, the silence down by the abandoned warehouses on Industrial Road gets creeper. The wind whistles, and I swear I hear “I’m not who you think I am…” echoing around. Spooky stuff that makes me wanna double-check the locks. But hey, that’s Calverton for ya: unpredictable, raw, all of it a part of its charm.

Navy expands water sampling area for homes near former naval site in Calverton